Breaking Add-itives

It had been on a day I was giving the internet a second chance at redeeming itself while on my search for a ‘fitter’ me that I came across an arbitrary commentators’ comment on how I could do just that. Using up this second chance too early, I gave in and read this forty-five year old woman’s comment… ”Finally” proclaims she, “I found a breakfast cereal that I don’t need to add sugar to”. Only forty-five years old and still writing at a below 5th grade level and eating like one too.  This was a woman that had found, after many trials, a lot of empty calories and much odd-looking bumps on her butt, that adding more sugar to already highly processed foods is what not to do.

I continued my search, for ways to eliminate or at least counteract the many rude ways ‘industry’ alters our food today. Which, I don’t remember asking industry if …”hey industry,when you get some time on your hands, would you mind altering our food since its not plastic enough”? Nobody needs peaches the size of Cost-Co itself, where one is all you’ll ever need for as long as you live– its that big.  Also, have you considered where you intend on storing the dang thing once you manage to drive it back home at the exclusion of your wife and at least one of your children who wouldn’t fit in the car seat. You tossed a coin for it–giant sized peach with its own orbit or half your family….hmmmm….tough one.

To ascertain that we stay the sucralose-happy nation that we’ve universally become, adding more sugar to cereal flakes the size of toast previously dipped in three types of unfathomably crazy to pronounce and lethal sugars, which vehemently promise to help you go potty—vehemently. In fact, you may as well just sit on the toilet bowl while you’re ingesting the flakes -they’re that promising and cereal that is the food of very few champions that I personally know of and maybe they’re simply referring to the pit bull fighting championships – marketers will, inevitably, continue to disguise the word sugar in order to play with us and keep us slightly below that 5th grade intelligence poverty line.

And why is organic so out of the way or right next to the ‘no name’ stuff yet at twenty-nine times the price. This from our neighborhood grocer–same grocer we thought we knew but now seems to have made a secret pact with some crazed vegans and he too is bullying us to choose. Why don’t they just come out and label things as they really are, either organic or explosive. They stand correct, however, when they put the ‘no sugar added’ on the box– if you lick the side of the box when no one is looking–there really is no sugar added.


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